I’ll tell you what I really hate.

1. This is not aimed at any one person in particular. A lot of people do this. Maybe even me.

2. This post has not been triggered by a recent event, I just remembered what I really hate.

3. Here we go: what I really hate is when a friend tells someone else an anecdote, but they don’t tell it straight.
It’s an anecdote I know – in fact I was probably there at the time, which makes me a witness and/or key part of the story.

However, the storyteller is exaggerating most of the facts for comic effect. Meanwhile, the audience is looking at me in disbelief for affirmation – “Wow, is this really true?” their eyes seem to say.

Liar, liar...

In return, my eyes are trying not to say, “Well, the less impressive bits are true,” and the storyteller’s eyes are saying to me, “Don’t blow this – they’re in complete awe of my amazing story and storytelling abilities!”

And my eyes are trying to say (without the audience seeing), “Look, this isn’t exactly how it went down. Don’t implicate me in your dastardly web of deceit.”

And their eyes are saying, “Well if you’re such an expert raconteur, why don’t you tell it?”

And my eyes are like, “Hey, it’s your story, you tell it.”

And the audience’s eyes are like, “Look guys, can your eyes quit arguing and just get on with the story?”

And at that point my legs are like, “I’ve had enough of this bullshit, I’m outta here,” and my ears are like, “Amen to that!”

And I hate that.

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