Mysterious dirty hand.

No mystery as to whose hand this is. It’s mine. It’s at the end of my left arm where it’s always been, so that part isn’t the mystery. But where did the dirt come from?

I arrived in work just like any other day. But then a colleague said, “What happened to your hand?”

I said, “Nothing.” But then looking at it, I was astonished to see it covered in an odourless black mark.

How?

I was at a loss to explain and still am. I’d been no further than 2 feet away from my left hand throughout the morning. Where had it been to have been sullied without my noticing. To this day (which is the day after it happened) it remains a complete mystery to everyone involved. Yes, both of us.

Spooky.

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England out.

So there it is. Or rather, there it was. Everyone’s at a loss to explain it but everyone’s an expert all the same.

Highly paid Premier League players can’t play as a team. They’re too tired/greedy/out of position/injured/burdened by the shirt, etc, etc. Any or all of the above.

Still, we can’t be the only nation that gets excited about our chances in the World Cup and then gets disappointed when we get knocked out. And at least we aren’t France.

This sight greeted me in Swingate the other evening. Seemed appropriate. Bet Sainsburys can’t give ’em away now.

Hopes and dreams trampled in the dirt. Again.

King’s Cross, Platform 0.

Wow, this is better than Harry Potter. I’m at King’s Cross waiting for the platform announcement for my train home. On the big screen, the number comes up. O. Zero? That’s not an 8 is it?. Nope, that platform’s already taken. Platform zero? Not a 10 with a faulty display? Clearly not. As soon as the platform’s announced the waiting commuters stream over to the far side of the station. And there it is – just to the right of Platform 1, out of nowhere, Platform O.

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Just like I said, a little to the right of Platform 1...

Now King’s Cross is also home to Platform 9¾ where Harry Potter and his chums take the train to Hogwarts. Never mind the fact that those scenes were filmed in the more cinematic St Pancras next door; for the benefit of tourists, they’ve set up a photo-op in a quiet corner. They have a wall with a baggage trolley embedded in it so that people can pose for a photo, looking as though they’re magically leaving the muggle world behind.

Visual ratification of the above.

Anyway, my immediate thought is, ‘is there room for a Platform Minus 1?’ Not really, or you’d be catching a train from the middle of York Way.

Believe in England!

World Cup fever is upon us whether you like it or not.

And you know what, England has a chance. We’re still in it (admittedly it hasn’t started yet) so who’s to say it couldn’t happen?

One of my clients is the English FA. They asked us to come up with an idea for Facebook that would help get the fans behind England for the World Cup and show the fans’ support to the players.

So we came up with this idea: We are all part of the official England squad, players and fans together. The players have 1 to 23 on their shirts and now the fans can have their own unique squad number too. It’s like we’re lining up for the national anthem alongside the team (except that wouldn’t be entirely practical).

Stephen Fry has no.30, Jonathan Ross is 28 and Nick Clegg is 67.

250,000 now and rising!

So if you go to http://apps.facebook.com/englandteam/ and click Create Your Shirt, you can select a red or white shirt, choose the name you want across the back and then you’ll get your official squad number on your shirt which you can then use as your profile picture to show your support for England.

It’s the tasteful online equivalent of decking your car/home/face/kids/pets with St George’s flags.

One week on and we’re already up to 166,000 which is phenomenal (he says modestly).

The target is 1 million though. Can we do it? Maybe you can help. Where else can you rub shoulders with JLS, Heston Blumenthal and Dame Kelly Holmes?

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