Parking Like A Twat in Stevenage.

When I started this blog way back in 2008 I thought I would be the only person taking an interest in the parking habits of those in and around Stevenage. How wrong I was. Since that time, a Facebook group has sprung up – Parking Like A Twat in Stevenage – an event so improbable, I thought I’d dreamt the whole thing up. Can we be twinned somehow?

School pick up time and this bellend decides to park so accurately.......twat.

“School pick up time and this bellend decides to park so accurately……. twat.”

But no, it’s real – and the photos are genuinely taken in Stevenage. Even Swingate gets in on the act. Not that this part of the world has a monopoly on twatty parking, but it’s rare for someone to not only set up a group so geographically specific, but for others to contribute – pretty regularly as it turns out. Stevenage is not short of people who park like twats. We bring forth exhibits B, C and D.

Could not believe this woman!! Swung her car in like its normal space, didn't care that it was sticking out on a bend!! She grabbed a big trolley so guessing she wasn't just popping in for a pint of milk! Gives woman drivers a bad name!!! Billy hunt!

“Could not believe this woman!! Swung her car in like its normal space, didn’t care that it was sticking out on a bend!! She grabbed a big trolley so guessing she wasn’t just popping in for a pint of milk! Gives woman drivers a bad name!!! Billy hunt!”

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Amazing. Having started on Facebook in June 2013, it already has 4,959 Likes – that’s about 4,959 more than Parking In Stevenage. Hats off to them. I for one will be parking with added care, knowing that this community is watching…

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Duncan Norvelle has a stroke.

That’s not a double entendre, he’s in hospital recovering from an actual stroke.
The strangest thing – I found the Chortle web page with the news open on my phone with no memory of clicking on anything or any knowledge of the story in the first place. Bizarre.*
However, my blog stats this morning would alert me to something being amiss. Over 600 hits across the weekend for the 2 or 3 Duncan Norvelle-related articles on here.
As I’ve mentioned before, you can see which search terms bring people to Parking in Stevenage. Duncan Norvelle is the single biggest puller here and there are plenty of variations on a theme. What’s striking is that among all the ‘married/gay’ search strings, not one person has searched for ‘is Duncan Norvelle OK?’ or ‘how is Duncan Norvelle?’. That’s a bit sad.

Back in ’93. The only excuse for that polo – and very feeble at that.

So I shall ask. How’s he doing? Well according to his agent Tony Jo, Duncan has been in hospital since April but expects to come out (of hospital!) in 2 or 3 weeks. And another 80’s variety trouper Stu Francis will be filling in for Duncan’s appearances while he’s recovering.
Now you’ve had your Norvelle fix, feel free to look around the blog. You’ll find exciting news about car parks close to Stevenage railway station. Though if you have a heart condition, perhaps you’d better give it a miss.

This has also afforded me to glean some more vital statistics on the great man, thanks to the news coverage – and this specifically from the Blackpool Gazette: “He has three children, Sophie (with ex-wife Trudi Dean), Yasmin (with former girlfriend Tina Hall) and Jack (with ex-wife Jane Lindsay). ”

*Just figured it out – a link from a mate’s tweet, clicked on and forgotten. And relax.

946 Duncan Norvelle-curious visitors in a day.

Got back from holiday on December 23. Got a message from a chum (who already au fait with this blog) to tell me that Duncan Norvelle was on Come Dine With Me on Channel 4.

La Norvelle: note the wrists. Tricky innit.

Shame, I got in too late to catch it – plus there was unpacking to do, putting the kids to bed, etc. I thought no more about it until I checked The Parking In Stevenage stats on my first day back at work – yesterday.

Blow me. 946 hits in one day! For little old me. Well, me and Duncan. On WordPress you can see what terms brought the page to people’s attention. Basically, everyone wants to know if he’s gay. Some people beat around the bush and search for “Duncan Norvelle married”, others like to call him “Duncan Chase Me Norvelle” to include his 80’s catch phrase. But the overwhelming majority want to know: is the camp thing real?

Straight up, he’s not gay. That’s what I’m hearing.

See for yourself. Couldn't believe it, etc.

Is he gay. Is he? Is he? No really, is he?

Parking in Stevenage: 2010 in review.

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads This blog is on fire!.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 6,000 times in 2010. That’s about 14 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 43 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 145 posts. There were 64 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 8mb. That’s about 1 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was November 15th with 74 views. The most popular post that day was Dogging in Stevenage..

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were bitchbag.co.uk, twitter.com, facebook.com, en.wordpress.com, and stevefolland.blogspot.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for duncan norvelle, make a shake stevenage, parking in stevenage, tesco trolley, and make a shake hitchin menu.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Dogging in Stevenage. November 2010

2

5 things you never knew about Duncan Norvelle. July 2009
7 comments

3

Free milkshakes for a year. February 2010
2 comments

4

A cross-dresser in Stevenage. March 2009
1 comment

5

Believe in England! June 2010

Today I am mostly listening to…

…Richard Hawley’s new album, Truelove’s Gutter.

So how did that come about? I’m glad I asked. Very occasionally, the nice folks at EMI send me CDs to see if I’d like to use any of their tracks for advertising campaigns I might be working on. It’s not entirely altruistic – I’d have to pay them handsomely for the privilege.

They also sent me the Dolly Rockers (very poor), Nick Cave (too laidback) The Asteroids Galaxy Tour (OK from halfway onwards) and one or two others. So on the iPod they go – and when I remember to, I audition them to see if they’re any good (imho).

And once again in html: Richard Hawley - Truelove's Gutter.

Well blow me down, this Hawley chap is pretty darned good. Very mellow, almost country. Shades of that Walk The Line/Man in Black/prison gig chap – reader’s voice: JOHNNY CASH! – yes him…

My wife would dismiss it as slit-your-wrists music*. Well, for all the melancholy washing over me, my arteries remain unsevered. It’s a delightful find. If EMI hadn’t brought him to my attention, I doubt our paths would ever have crossed.

If you’d like to see whether you side with me or Mrs me, give him a listen at last.fm

*This was confirmed later

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