How did I get here?

A reconstruction.

WordPress tells me what search terms bring you to my blog. It doesn’t identify you personally – I just see a list of search terms and how many hits I got from them.

Dwarfing all others, Duncan Norvelle is the most popular search term. Is he gay? Is he married? Etc.

But in addition it does give me a fascinating window on to the kinds of things you good citizens of the internet are looking for.

This is a new type of post. I will update this from time to time with my favourite search terms. And I shall start with these:

– Sue Holderness legs
– Ford pigeon
– man superdry back
– silica gel Stevenage
– duncan norvelle gardener
– kepi blank
– illegal parking on grass
– Brian Blessed wife swap
– Stevenage Taliban
– Tesco ad where man pushing a car all over the place
– crossdress air force
– lost black glove
– “showing a bit of leg”
– how much does Duncan Norvelle cost to book
– wiki duncan norvelle please leave me alone

Wood Pigeon Down.

I guess the car wanted it more.

I guess the car wanted it more.

I hit a pigeon on my way to the station this morning. Did I kill it? I don’t know. I was doing about 40 when it swooped down, fatally misjudging my speed and met my right headlight. It was a hefty glancing blow. It bounced over the roof of my car and, because I was still paying attention to where I was going, I don’t know what became of it.

It was certainly enough to wind it or even knock it out, in which case any one of the cars behind me will have finished the job. I’ll have a look on the way home tonight.

In the meantime I have a little souvenir of the incident.

A feather in my... headlight actually.

A feather in my... headlight actually.

This is the second wildlife/car coming-together incident I’ve had in the last couple of weeks. I’m surprised there haven’t been more. Living in the countryside, you see so much more roadkill (badgers are more brown than black and white – certainly the underside). The first incident involved a rabbit and very nearly my front right tyre. I was driving to the airport at about 4 in the morning. There it was suddenly lit up in my headlights – I can still see his twitching little face looking at me in surprise: “What happens now?”

As seen by the next bunny in line.

As seen by the next bunny in line.

Well fortunately for him, I swerved to the left and slammed on the brakes (giving me that rumble-strip sensation you get from the ABS system). That swerve led me into the path of 2 more rabbits, so further evasive action was needed. God knows how it must have looked to the driver coming the other way – or maybe he had his own rabbits to worry about.

All that effort from me and yet I doubt those bunnies made it to sun up. It’s a very fast bit of road and even at that ungodly hour, your luck can only hold out for so long.

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